Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
