they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
