I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
barbara walters just said penis...
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
did i walk over a car last night?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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