i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
