i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
