What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
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