Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize