just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize