Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
