Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
