Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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