what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
