Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
