Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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