Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
