wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
