nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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