there was a trapeze. enough said
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
