have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
