I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
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