3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
