I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize