I think my vagina is haunted
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
