I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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