Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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