Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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