You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Randomize