3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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