giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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