There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
