Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
