her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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