Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
