he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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