My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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