I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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