You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Randomize
