i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
