Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize