im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
