It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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