Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
They took my balls.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize