fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
