Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
