Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
