I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You are a genius and a whore.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
