Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
