So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
