i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
