Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
