Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
