If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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