We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
