Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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