I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
