Swine flu. Run for my life!
another moral hangover. fuck.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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