Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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