No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
