I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
